


Wrong question

by IDontKnowWhatIAmWriting



Series: One piece stories [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace is an angst magnet, Ace needs many hugs, Gen, Heavy Angst, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24169324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontKnowWhatIAmWriting/pseuds/IDontKnowWhatIAmWriting
Summary: Thatch had noticed that Ace had been feeling down lately. So to know what is troubling him he asks "Watcha thinking about?”He only wanted to help. He didn’t think thoughts like this existed in Ace’s mind.
Relationships: Portgas D. Ace & Thatch
Series: One piece stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1516145
Comments: 7
Kudos: 172





	Wrong question

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again.  
> This is one of the darker fics I had in mind.  
> English is not my first language. 
> 
> Warning: MENTIONS ABOUT KILLING YOURSELF AND SELF DEGRADING TALK. 
> 
> IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU THAN PLEASE DO NOT READ!!!

Thatch looked at his sleeping brother. He was laying peacefully on his bed. Why his bed you may ask. Well Thatch wasn't able to put him in his own room. Thatch was to afraid that something could happen. Even if it was normal that his brother slept in his own room. Thatch wouldn't, no couldn't let him out of his sight. He was still trembling and his heart was going a hundred miles a hour.

Thatch froze as his brother moved in his sleep. He moves his hand to move some of the hair out of his face. Thatch looks at his brother again, sadness filled his heart. He looked so peaceful, like the last 15 minutes didn't really happen. Thatch wished that it was that case, but it did happen.

He wants to hug him, tell him that everything was alright. He wants to tell him he loves him. He wants to bring up all their pranks and funny conversations. He wants him to laugh without a care in the world, but he couldn't. Thatch only stares at him and wonder where all of this began. How could he not have noticed his brothers demons, when they were hurting him so badly. He realizes that he could never see his brother in the same way he always seen him.

————————————————————————————————-

_"I'm sorry"_

It al began with an innocent question. Thatch knew that his brother was a lightweight and an honest drunk. Thatch was at that time only sober. He had found his brother a little down at the party and to cheer him up and put him in a better mood he asked. "Watcha thinking about?" So he would know how to cheer his little brother up. Sad eyes looked up at him. "Thatch...oh heyyy what did you say"?

"I said whatcha thinking about? You seem a little down. Why don't you tell your big bro what is bothering you. I promise that I won't tell anyone." Thatch gave him his best smile.

"Well, I was thinking about me, myself." Thatch raised an eyebrow. "You thought about yourself and now your sad. You're a great kid. No need to be sad. Don't regret the past, just think about the future!"

"I was thinking that mayyyyybe I should have killed myself." Thatch spit his drink out in surprise "WHAT? Why the fuck would you say that!"

"You know Gol-Go Roger?" Thatch nodded "I'm his kid."

"Okay." this was big news and Thatch was certainly surprised, but Thatch didn't know that this had to do with it. "So what? Nice to know, but I don't care about that. Why are you sad?"  
  


"Wooooow really, you don't hate me. Thanks Thatch! People hate on me for that like alllllllll the time and they are really mean about it." Fuck his brother was really drunk.

felt bad for asking him while drunk, but his curiosity was now killing him. I mean, Rogers kid. This was big news. How had he not known that before and...people being mean?

"Wait do other people know? Are they threatening of blackmailing you? Who do we need to beat up? We can help against those mean people you know." Thatch hastily came up with all kinds of problems his brother could have gotten himself into. He could see that other people knowing could be a problem.

"Noooooo, of course not. Only nice people can know. But they were being mean, Thatch! That hurt right here" His younger brother pointed to his chest. "They said that I would be beheaded or that I should drown. Oh they also said that they should burn me and everyone who had ever held a grudge against Roger had the right to take it out on me. But now those losers will first need to have sea stone, otherwise they can't burn Acey." Thatch's eyes widened in shock.

_"Fuck, I'm so sorry."_

"You don't believe that right. I bet that they didn't even know Roger." A drunken hand clumsily slapped against Thatch's mouth. "Ssssssh, it is what it is. I shouldn't have been born, okay?"

Thatch was absolutely horrified to hear that. "No, no, no, no what are you talking about. Of course you should have been born." He wasn't even listening to Thatch.

"I killed my mom. I heard that she was beautiful and kind and nice. She threw her life away bringing a monster like me into the world."

"Your wro-" He held his hand again against Thatch's mouth. "Nooo, interrupting people is rude. Makino said so." Even though he was interrupting Thatch.

"Eh where was I? Oh yes, my mom. She shouldn't that done that. She should have lived her life, but noooooo. I don't get it." There was a silence between them. "You know what Thatch. I hate myself. Should have thrown myself of the first cliff I saw the moment I knew. Just dive or something. Could I swim? Oh I can jump of the ship now! Whoosh and splash and blbrrr." His younger brother was doings weird hand motions with it.

_"I didn't mean to..."_

Thatch was scared. He didn't know what to do with this information. He had never dealt with people who thought like this about themself before. He didn't think their youngest would have these kind of thoughts. "H-have you ever tried to, you know."

"Kill myself? Yeah, but all those times Sabo stopped me. He's dead now. Also because of me. I couldn't save him." There were now tears streaming down his face "It would have been better if I had died and not Sabo." Fuck he made it worse. "Sabo would have been a better brother. I always just screw things up and make people sad. I can’t seem to do shit right. I suck, but you knew that, didn't you? I didn't try after because someone would have to take care of Luffy. I love Luffy... and really miss him. Do you miss him too?"

Thatch had heard enough. He was going to put the freckled man to sleep and have a long talk with him next morning. Thatch slung one of his brothers arms around himself and lifted him up. He was still talking shit about himself.

Theystumbled towards the fourth commanders room. Thatch unlocked it, pulled his covers away and gently lay his brother in his bed. Thatch took of his shoes, hat and necklace and tucked him in. "Thatch?" He stopped. His voice sounded so defeated. He looked up into grey eyes full of self-hatred. It made his stomach turn. Nothing could have prepared him. His blood froze, cold as ice, at his brothers next words. 

_"I'm sorry. Fuck I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...be born."_

**Author's Note:**

> I do not support or encourage any of this. This is just an idea I had in mind. I just needed to write about my feelings that have been bottled up for a while now.  
> I have actually been in Thatch's place myself and failed. 
> 
> If anyone is in a bad situation like this then please contract people like friends, family or help stations.


End file.
